(no subject)

Ana

She promised me perfection.
She promised me love.
She promised to never hurt me, but she lied.
She spews words of hate and anger.
I’m pathetic, a failure.
I’m so fat and ugly, how could anybody love me?
I hate her so much, but she’s my drug.
Suffocating me.
Killing me.
Then she resuscitates me.
It’s good again, but only for a little while.
She hates me, I hate her.
I try to leave.
Wait!
She’s sorry, so sorry.
No she ain’t, but I love it, love her.
I’m addicted.
I go back and we’re good, I’m good.
It’s perfect.
Then it starts again.
The hate, the rage.
It’s her fault, my fault, so many faults, again and again.
But I need her, crave her, I can’t succeed without her.
I have to stay.
I can’t get away.
But I can’t do it anymore.
I’m dying inside and out.
So much hate, so much rage, so many lies, but I love it.
I love it.
I stay.